Homestudy Report, Where Art Thou?

Our homestudy report should be approved any day now. The social worker was here on her final visit 3 weeks ago. We’re getting a little antsy!! By now our fingerprints should be processed, so really there is nothing else to do but wait for the agency to send the report to immigration. SO close.

I’m encouraged by a report from a fellow Philadelphian that it only took her 3 weeks to get her 171-H after their homestudy was sent in. Minus any snags, I’m forecasting that we could get ours around the end of March. Without knowing how long it’ll take to get the 171-H certified and authenticated, (does it take just as long as it would if they sent the whole kit & caboodle together?) the rough estimate for DTC is still mid-late April, and hopefully late May LID.

There was a LaVida group in China this week. Nothing like gorging yourself on Gotcha Day photos to restore the good spirits and remember that it’s all worth it in the end!

Eight Below

I tore myself away from my current fixation on Chinese books and movies long enough to wander to the theater and see Eight Below last night. Not having read any advance reviews, I had no idea what to expect but Mike told me he’d heard about grown men bawling. Having seen (and loved) March of the Penguins, I braced myself for a sobering tale of animals fighting the elements and struggling for survival. Indeed it wasn’t all fluff, but the triumph of this pack of devoted huskies over the bitter, hungry, Antarctic winter was pretty inspiring. I found myself captivated by the gripping stories of the dogs themselves (and believe me, there is canine character development here) and slightly bored by the tortured guilt of the tracker/dogsledder who was forced to leave them behind. Mike agreed that the B cast and mediocre script held it back a little, but overall, very enjoyable!

For a squeaky-clean adventure absent of gratuitous sex or violence, with some tearjerker moments, unexpected humor and absolutely gorgeous cinematography, definitely check it out. I give a solid 3 barks out of four.

Referral Rumors? Say It Ain't So

The rumor mill round the adoption boards has been pretty busy lately. Some say their agencies tell them to kick back and expect 12-13 months from LID to referral. (Kick the wall, more like) Others say the folks in Spain know more than we do and the next batch will include up to early June '05 LIDs, which is about 9 months. Who knows? Dare I speculate and feed the rumors further? American Idol is on soon, and there's nothing I can do to prod CCAA, so I'd better stick to what I know about singing and guess who's getting cut, once we're down to the 24 contenders...

I never mentioned what we thought of The Last Emperor. It was very good, up till the DVD player pooped out. Someday we'll rent it again, but in general we really liked it. I hope to add a movie/book review section later specific to China. :-)

One more note about the adoption before I sign off, though: we got a note from our agency yesterday that all dossier documents minus the homestudy report and I-171H have passed critical review and have been sent off for certification and authentication! That bodes well for us since the C&A fees are non-refundable and I don't think they'd take this crucial step if we weren't to pass the homestudy. The report should be in next week, which brings us ever closer to the I-171H and my three current favorite letters: DTC!!!

Early Valentine's Present!

Thanks to the nice people who cheered me up after my last post - as I learn more and accept more about the realities of life in China, children in need of homes, etc., I know that we can't fix all the problems. I am glad though to have a better understanding of things and know that we'll appreciate our little girl all the more!

Mike gave me this pendant. (Translation: I found it online, ordered it, showed him a picture, and told him he's off the hook for Valentine's Day if this can be my present. Thanks honey!) I found it on Chinasprout.com - the translation is "born in my heart". I love it! It is sterling silver so I'm not sure how well it will hold up, so I might have it dipped in rhodium from time to time.

I look forward to wearing this for the next year (or till whenever we go to China)... I think it'll help with those days when it feels like time is moving too slowly... and help me remember that it is all worth it. There are some other very pretty pendants, one of which translates to "forever family". I may "ask" for that for NEXT Valentine's Day and when we come home as a family, that one can be worn too. And if this first pendant really does hold up, I hope to put it aside and give to June when she is older.

In other news, we finished our homestudy visits last weekend, and shipped off the last of our dossier docs to our agency. Now we await homestudy approval and the countdown to the 171-H. I occasionally stare at the calendar trying to predict how long it will be till we receive it, then add on the 4-6 weeks for certifying and authentication, but honestly it's anyone's guess as to when we'll be DTC.

Big snow headed for Philly tonight. We're staying in and renting The Last Emperor. Review coming soon!

New Emotions Sprouting

I’m filled with emotion lately. It’s welling up on me almost every day, especially when I’m driving somewhere, or laying in bed at night, with time to ponder and absorb some aspects of this adoption I hadn’t really considered at the very beginning of this journey. I am guessing that the sadness and heartbreak isn’t unusual, but it took me by surprise.

As we continue pushing forth with the paperchase, I’ve been reading a lot. At first the books were just on adoption… now my focus is on the babies themselves. I recently finished The Lost Daughters of China. Now I’m halfway through The Waiting Child. It occurs to me, as I find myself in tears every chapter or so, that when we first decided to adopt that we were thinking mostly of what it would do for us. It would turn us into parents, give us the child we’ve always wanted. We espouted our desire to give a little girl a home who might not get one otherwise, but I don’t think we ever scratched the surface of the real need of the babies. I was mostly ignorant to the depths of heartbreak the birthparents felt the day they watched the space between her and them get larger and larger, and the hole they probably have in their hearts forever.

As I read, I’m getting a clearer understanding of the tough road these babies face in orphanage life. Ours may have wounds too deep for us to see at first, if she went too long without a mommy and daddy. Up till now I was going to sleep at night dreaming of Gotcha Day and the joy I’ll feel when my arms are filled with our baby. Now I’m feeling haunted by all the moments the children must go through with only the minimal TLC that can be given in an institutional setting. This is not meant as a criticism against the orphanage workers – it’s just reality. Too many babies, not enough arms to comfort them. Way, way too many babies who won’t ever be adopted and be given all the love they deserve. Many orphanages whose conditions are still so poor, we in the West will never hear about them in the press. Right now I feel heartbroken and helpless that our future daughter and her untold number of sisters have to face a hardship I can’t pretend to understand.

Last night, we met our friends Mel and Sean’s baby Lindsay. She was a tiny bundle of love, beautiful and sweet-smelling and unputdownable. I couldn’t help but think that while this family had such cause for celebration and joy, that this same moment would not likely be met with such happiness in China. There would be awe at the perfect face, tiny fingers and toes, of course. But so much sadness, if the family cannot keep her. And the demand to do something heartwrenching and brave. It is still hard for me to fathom that our June will have come from a beginning filled with such mixed and intense emotion. I am more committed to her now than ever and can only guess that my heart will open even more as we inch closer to the day we become her parents.

Fun with Fingerprints

We're officially fingerprinted. A completely painless process. I highly recommend anyone in the Philly area to go on a weekday and arrive when they open. It was well worth taking a day off! We stood in line for about 20 minutes tops.

Don't know where I've been lately but I fully expected to walk away with ink-laden fingers. Maybe if I watched a little more police drama I'd know that they douse your fingertips in water (or some kind of clear watery substance) and then press your fingers onto a piece of glass. They roll your fingers from side to side and the image is captured electronically. Nifty.

We were out of there by 9AM with a whole day ahead. After a brief visit to one of my work clients and a hearty congratulations call to Mel and Sean on the birth of their beautiful daughter Lindsey (born 1/31 at 5lbs 4oz - more details and links to Lindseyland when her dad has time to post them!), we found ourselves with a rare commodity: a completely free day. Since we were only a few blocks from Chinatown, we took a walk through. As we perused the craft shops and grocery stores, I found myself catching glances at a few of the locals, wondering how they had made their way to the US. Would June share common ancestors with anyone here who might be from the same province? Would she look much the lady who sold me rice cakes, when she is that age? I find myself wanting to learn more and more about the culture so we can truly understand her heritage.

More on the rice cakes:
I've never seen these before. The bag says you soak them overnight like beans and then either simmer, roast or fry them, sweetened with sugar or cooked with veggies or spices. I'm thinking they could be pretty tasty but if cooked wrong, just soggy and gross. We'll see if I can pull it off when I try them out.

Final doctor visits for the dossier this week, followed by a final trip to the notary this weekend, and we'll be 90% finished with the paperchase! Hurrah!! Now if only those wait times would go down...