1st Homestudy Visit Down... 1 to Go

Our social worker from our agency came for the first home study visit today. Why was I so nervous? It really was nothing to worry about. She was very easygoing and didn't throw any questions out that we felt unprepared to answer. Mostly stuff about our relationship, our views on parenting, our experiences with kids, etc. We'd talked a lot about this already, so really it was no sweat. She'll be back next Sunday and then it's out of our hands!

In thinking more about Meg Ryan's adoption, I should probably amend what I said in an earlier post about it being the rage to adopt... which was said tongue in cheek of course but now that I've read a fairly offensive article in Parade magazine, I realize I shouldn't even joke about it.

Walter Scott of Parade replied to a question from a reader about why Brad & Angelina have adopted children from overseas, basically saying that it is the "fashionable" thing to do, and later saying "they are expecting their own, of course". Offensive and tacky to suggest that these children are accessories, and not their own. The comments from readers are streaming in. I hope that nobody took offense to what I said about Meg Ryan - I am just thrilled that adoptions from abroad are getting exposure through celebrities and that it will encourage people who might have been afraid to take the journey. The sad thing is that crappy press like this undermines the power adoption has to change many lives (parents and children alike) for the better.

It doesn't matter if the baby is from Nepal or Nebraska. All adoptive parents have the right to follow their hearts to the children they were meant to be united with, no matter where the path takes them.

In other, very exciting news, our good friends Mel and Sean are expecting a special delivery on Tuesday! Last I heard, she is being induced so hopefully all will go smoothly and easily... and the little bambina will hurry her way out and introduce herself! We are getting fingerprinted on Wednesday near the hospital where she is delivering so we hope to stop by and meet her. Stay tuned.

Think she'll want to do a playdate?

Adoption a baby from China is apparently all the rage now. All the stars are doing it:

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477306

Question: how WILL she explain that deli scene to her daughter?

Adoption School

On Saturday, we gathered with 11 other eager families to fulfill one of our agency requirements: the adoption training workshop. Some stuff we covered wasn't new, but there were some good insights. They showed a video of a Korean girl who at 22 went back in search of her roots. In Korea, it is not as difficult to find a link to birthparents since it is not illegal there to place a child for adoption - although in her case she only found an aunt. It was a very moving reunion. Our daughter won't have a chance for this, and it does make me think about how hard that will be for her to come to terms with. We hope to connect her with as many other girls like herself, though, so she can have a sense of belonging, though the bond is a missing past. Hopefully the motherland trip we'll eventually plan will put at least a couple puzzle pieces in place for her, too.

For lunch, the agency took us to a local Chinese restaurant voted Best in Philly (yummy indeed). We had the chance to talk to the agency director who had talked a bit in class about the unexpected picking apart of the CCAA on dossiers that had been logged in months ago. It just happened this week. Things they never batted an eye at in the past (multiple past divorces, blemished criminal history, others she didn't mention) are now an issue. You could hear a collective gulp from around the room. She said new policies haven't been set - but it seems like we'll all have to be ready for extra scrutiny. Frustrating though, to have a log in date, but not know for SURE that you make the mark... probably till you get your referral!

Overall the class was good and it's one more item crossed off the checklist. In other news, we got our homestudy physicals and have now handed in all materials. Hopefully we'll be assigned to a social worker next week!

Patience is a virtue... not one of mine

I've been reading on the adoption boards lately about the increased referral times. When we first decided on adoption, the wait times were around 7 months from log-in in China... they've since slowed to 9-10 months with rumors it could go even longer. This is in addition to the 5 months it will take us to get our dossier sent off. A little discouraging after the initial euphoria of "we're adopting! hooray!" But, it will be worth it in the end. Once the paperchase is done, it's not like we won't have things to do. What will be June's bedroom is in dire need of a makeover. Many empty walls throughout the house could do with some decorating. The quest to reclaim the figure of my youth will certainly keep me busy for a while.

There's a lot of speculation as to why the referrals have slowed down but it seems the general consensus is that there are more dossiers coming in to China, creating a bottleneck. I have to think that this is a good thing, that so many more of us are becoming interested in adopting from a country where there are countless numbers of babies that needs homes. Maybe we have to wait a little bit longer but we're still going to be united one day, and that helps. The wait is certainly easier on us than it is on the babies...

One thing that definitely helps keep things in focus is picking up books on adoption. My latest read is The Lost Daughters of China. It is an incredible book for anyone considering China adoption or is just interested in learning more about the plight of these little girls. Next on my list: The Waiting Child. Thanks to Monica for the recommendation!

I600-A Sent!

After 6 hours of filling in paperwork, a brief argument with a notary, an altercation with a copy machine at Staples, and more visits to 7-11 for money orders than I thought I'd ever make in a week, we are finally sending off our first real batch of paperwork. La Vida is getting everything (the I-600A, accompanying docs, power of attorney, the uncomfortably long waiver and an uncomfortably large check) and they will file for us.

I also am sending back my passport to change to my married name, which I never got around to before. Had to send one of the only 2 copies of the marriage license, but they swear I'll get it back again. I ordered a bunch more from the courthouse anyway since I need them for the homestudy and dossier and am paranoid.

Word about the adoption has spread at work and it has been so nice to hear people ask about it. One of the ladies said "we will all be here for you". I'm sure there will be some tough days ahead and it's nice to know you've got support.

Next on our list is to write the dreaded autobiographies. For someone who loves talking about herself, you would think I could fire this off in an afternoon but it is much harder than I expected. We each need to complete this, along with getting to the doctor to have her sign off that we're going to live for a reasonable amount of time and reasonably be able to care for our baby. Then there is another pile of papers more or less completed that we need to assemble with said autobiography and doctor notes for the next shipment to La Vida for the homestudy. Self imposed due date: January 31st.

Knowing that we are this much closer to the reality of becoming parents has given us tons of motivation to eat better and exercise more. Like many others in our shoes, we want to be able to climb The Great Wall, and greet our child in the best shape possible. For added motivation, we are now glued to The Biggest Loser. Does anyone else love this show as much as I do???