June Makes Three

Confession Time

2007-08-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

OK... I've dickered around long enough, and it's time to come clean. This revelation is anticlimactic to probably half my pals in blogland but to some of you, yes, this is news. I'm pregnant.

Knocked up.
Up the duff, for you Anglophiles.

I've been in this condition for quite a few weeks (18 to be exact) but that doesn't keep me from waking up every morning slightly stunned. Learning that I was pregnant was indeed shocking for both Mike and myself, but truth be told we never really knew whether or not having bio kids was a possibility. Our reasons for adopting came equally from a.) a true desire to become adoptive parents and b.) concern for my health due to having high blood pressure since age 13. (Yes, 13!) The truth is, I never really had this huge longing to be pregnant; I only had the REALLY huge longing to have a family. So we chose one of a few options and never really looked back, except to grumble regularly about China's ridiculous waiting list.

Anyway. As it happens, I got pregnant, and have since enjoyed a relationship with a team of excellent docs who are checking my status regularly. The good news is that so far, I'm healthy, the baby is healthy, and we're almost halfway there. The hope is that we'll hang in there as long as possible and avoid pre-eclampsia (my major risk). We just have to take it day by day.

So... where does that leave the adoption? Our plan right now is to request our dossier be put on hold for a while. With the wait time extending further and further, we may not even have to go on hold, but we will still ask the agency about this. After the baby comes (due Jan 25th) we'll talk to the agency about updating our homestudy, and then make a decision on what to do.

We've been really committed to and excited about adopting a little girl from China. We've talked a lot about how we'd feel if circumstances keep us from being able to go through with it. It's complicated and we don't take it lightly, so for now we've decided not to even think about it because we simply don't know what the future holds. I still follow lots of China blogs and stay on top of the news, though. That's really all we can do right now.

So there you have it. Now, for your enjoyment, I've been keeping a secret blog cataloguing my ultrasounds, wacked-out symptoms, and ever widening silhouette, so feel free to read the back issues. I will probably update that one exclusively for the time being, so please join me there. I will keep you posted on that site about what's happening with the adoption.

See you at http://moyerpartyofthree.blogspot.com!

Sophie's Bad Breeding

2007-08-05T06:56:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to a BBQ at my sister's house. All in all, it was a great day - met lots of cool people and enjoyed the view on the lake, and Mike got to play his beloved volleyball.

But I must tell you about a neighbor we met of Esther's, a self-proclaimed poodle wrangler and breeder with six dogs of her own (which happened to be approximately twice the number of teeth in her mouth). She wandered over to us while I was holding Sophie and asked if Sophie was spayed - if not, would I be willing to breed her? Very flattering initially, but then the scary lady began a thorough examination of my dog. We told her we suspected Sophie had some bichon in her, but she would have none of it. She then proceeded to simultaneously praise and criticize her features for the next ten minutes.

"Nah, she's a full bred poodle. But these squat legs and wide body - it's just bad breeding, is all. One of her parents was a lumpy dumpy dog.

"She's so adorable, though - God it's a shame she's spayed, I would love to breed her with mine and make some cute puppies.

"Look at these ears! She's got way too much hair in them." (at which point she proceeded to yank tufts of hair out of Sophie's ear)

"Good teeth, black nose, black nails. She's definitely a full bred poodle. Well, she's just so cute. She has a few nice things about her, but major flaws. You could never show her, look at all these flaws! But adorable. She's so short, squat and dumpy." Then she toddled away and picked up her own toy poodle, which did nothing but vibrate in her lap and occasionally snarl at people.

A barrage of counter-insults started circulating around the group that witnessed Sophie's encounter, and we gave Sophie a bit of hamburger to help her forget being violated. From now on I'll be very suspicious if we ever encounter anyone else who claims to "know poodles"!

Saturday... in the Park...

2007-07-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well, it was the 14th, not the 4th of July, but anyway, we had a fantastic time at our first annual friends & family picnic! We managed to squeak out one of the nicest days of the past few weeks, and enjoyed yummy food, bean bag toss, and as you can see, a very competitive round of volleyball. And Sophie hung out and played with all the babies!

Hope to see you all again next year!!

Out of Review! FINALLY!!!

2007-07-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

After 13 months and 3 weeks of collecting dust on a shelf somewhere in the review room at the CCAA, we learned today that they have finished the review of all dossiers received in May 2006. We're through!!

Congrats to, well, US, for surviving this leg of the ugly wait, and of course to my friend Jen (logged in a few days after us). Along with being out of review, she and her husband recently received a referral for a little boy in Taiwan, so there's TONS to celebrate! We're so happy for you guys!!!

On to the matching room, where we'll sit for another year, no doubt!

Relay for Life

2007-06-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we participated in the annual Relay for Life to raise money for the American Cancer Society. It was a really beautiful day. My mom, a three-time cancer survivor, was there, as were many others. At dusk, all of the teams lit luminaries that circled a quarter-mile track, and as we walked past them all, I noticed more luminaries in memory of loved ones, far more than those in honor of survivors. I was once again reminded of how fortunate my family is, and that I should never forget to be thankful.

More and more cures will be discovered in the future, and we'll celebrate many more survivors... thanks to research funding. If you'd like to participate in a relay or start a team, click here to learn more.

Thanks to my friends and family who donated this year!!

Sophie's Birthday

2007-06-18T16:50:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture from Sophie's birthday party... after her dip in the pool, before cake with her puppy friends. (Yes, we got a puppy pool AND a dog cake, we're that bad and we know it, in case anyone starts making references to Christopher Guest movies...)

Everyone had a blast! Happy birthday little poochie!

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day, Mike!

And a very Happy Father's Day to all the dads, waiting dads, and granddads out there!

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately but I've been busy with the new job. We did have the ridiculous but fun birthday party for Sophie last week so I will post pictures as soon as I get them.

More coming soon!

Want some frise with your poodle?

2007-05-19T16:17:00.001-07:00

Sophie went to the groomer last week. I take her to a local pet supply shop where they really take the time to educate you on pet care, refuse to sell critters of any size, and are just all-around awesome. Plus, they sell the one, obscure brand of dog food that Sophie will eat that I can't find anywhere else. Anyway, when I picked her up from her latest wash 'n fluff, Tab the owner took some time to fuss over her and sit her on the counter top and out of the blue he asked, "What breed did you say she is?" So I told him how we got Sophie and how I have the papers saying she's a poodle but everyone always is asking if she's cockapoo or mini-goldendoodle or whatever. He said, "I used to show dogs, and I'm telling you, there's at least a pound of Bichon in this girl!"

I said, "But what about her papers from the breeder?" He said, "She came from a mall shop, right?" I said, "Yes, and after I got her from the family who bought her, I went to the shop and grilled them about the breeders they used and they promised she's not from a puppy mill."

Ahh, but I'm naive! Apparently, yes, virtually all mall dogs come from puppy mills, like it or not, and after Tab inspected Sophie some more, he deemed her squatty little legs, long body and big round eyes the unmistakable characteristics of a Bichon Frise. Who knew? Then again, who cares? Poodle, bichon-poo, whatever she is... my little girl's adorable, pedigree or not. :-)

It's Been a Year? Already?

2007-05-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

Actually, since we began this adoption process, it's been a year and a half. But who wants to count back that far? We'll just call it our one year-LID anniversary and be done with it.

The truth, though, is that this past year went very quickly. (Twentysomethings and younger, take note: like a sadistic merry-go-round, the clock starts spinning faster and faster as soon as you hit thirty, so enjoy the illuson of youth while you can. (Did I just sound like a parent? Oooh, I really am ready! (Do I use parentheses too often? Eh, who cares. My blog.))) I think we can pretty much count on the next year zipping by as well. I start a new job on Monday. Will be eking out as many weekends at my sister's as possible this summer. We're thinking of going to San Francisco in September. And soon enough, it'll be time to fight the mobs for cut-price Christmas tree ornaments.

In the meantime, I bought a boatload of flowers to plant this weekend to lure the ladybugs.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies and waiting-mommies!

Sebastian 1993-2007

2007-05-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

Sebastian, long-time companion of my mom and one of the first kitties I ever loved, made a surprise departure from our lives today. At 14, he had of course had a good, long life. As recently as Saturday, he seemed as normal as one would expect a cat of his age to be. Then he suddenly showed major signs of distress, lost of a lot of weight, and well, those of you who have loved and lost pets over the years know where it goes from there. We rushed him to the vet this morning, and after learning he had a kidney infection that had completely overwhelmed his body, we said our goodbyes, wiped away the tears, and did what must be done.

As we held him, I glossed over a few favorite memories of life with Sebastian...

The first morning after I took him and his sister Sable home with me, he determinedly roused me at 5AM by pushing his tiny paw across my cheek over and over again. I woke up to the tiniest kitten face and fell in love immediately.

I was once evacuated from an apartment (chemical spill) and I had to sneak my contraband kitties out to my car lest my landlord discover them and kick me out. I'd gotten Sebastian out but the fireman wouldn't let me back in for Sable. Sebastian and I sat in the car and cried together for an hour till she was finally rescued.

When I brought the cats home after college, Sebastian was so disgusted with me for making him ride two hours in the car, he howled in my face and peed himself during the entire trip.

From there, Sebastian became my mom's true baby and I'm sure that she could take over with many more funny, sweet memories.

We will miss you, little boy. I hope you're sticking your head in the fridge in heaven right now, looking for some tasty chicken.

How should a girl celebrate her 38th birthday?

2007-05-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

According to my crazy sister, by jumping out of an airplane, of course!

Glad it was everything you hoped it would be, Es!! And Happy Birthday!!!

Hello, Kitty

2007-04-24T04:32:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my mom and I took a road trip to see my sister's new house. She bought a ginormous place on a ginormous lake in northern NJ. We went with all intents of helping her unpack some stuff, clean out some stuff and get her settled. Then we eyed the backyard, which hosts a dock, paddleboat, jetski and speedboat. Plus a flock of wildlife. Suffice to say, we did not accomplish much beyond watersports, feeding the geese and sitting on the swing counting out the weekends this summer we'd be spending at Esther's new resort.

Next up, we visited my new friend Marleen and her family who happen to live near my sister. Marleen found me on a Yahoo group for adoptive parents logged in on China's waiting list in May '06. Turns out we have the same agency and the same LID! So we will be travelling together. This is her second adoption. Her first daughter is Kitty, who was kind enough to hang out on my lap for a while and show me pictures of her adoption and her family. She was an absolute joy and totally rejuvenated me as we wait for the day we meet our daughter. She even agreed to show June and her little sister the ropes.

We had a blast hanging out with Marleen and her family and I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the coming months (and years)!

What Moms Do

2007-04-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

Moms give pep talks.

Moms join you for a cheery breakfast at your favorite diner on your birthday.

Moms know to give just the gift that will put a smile on your face and put the kibosh on your pity party, and know that indeed, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks Mom, for all you do!!!

It's My Party...

2007-04-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday is a mildly milestone-ish birthday for me, clocking in at age 35. I mean, there's no getting around it anymore. I'm squarely in my mid-thirties. But hey, it's good to get this far, right? Right.

But I'm sad today over the referral announcements today that state the CCAA got through two stinking days worth of waiting list (Oct 26,2005). I don't understand it at all and every month the glue holding my smile together when people ask where we are on the list dries a little more, cracks a little more, and the cheery attitude I'm trying desperately to hold together is hanging by a thread. I had dinner with a friend a couple weeks ago who asked me how much longer we had to go. I gave her the "14 months or so" stock answer to which she replied that I'd told her that six months ago, nine months ago, and a year ago. I told her I thought we were probably over the hump now and we could probably count on getting in and out of China before the Beijing Olympics. Today I have absolutely no idea anymore.

At the risk of sounding a like a total whiner (should be my 3rd instead of my 35th birthday), I have to say that I'm completely and totally frustrated. I know we chose the adoption route and that it's fraught with unpredictability. I know one day it will all be worth it. I know that as parents, we have to learn about patience. And there's no point in getting mad at the CCAA. But for today, I'm at a loss. It's hard to believe that one day we will ever have the daughter we have been waiting for.

I'll stop short of posting a photo of the world's smallest violin (which I did actually find online). Thanks for letting me vent. Tomorrow I'll eat way too much birthday cake, Sunday I'll eat way too much Easter candy, and on Monday it'll be a brand new day.

The Marriage Thing, Not So Bad

2007-03-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

Three years and counting. Happy Anniversary, babe.

The Lives of Others

2007-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Just got back from seeing this movie. I have to say, it's one of the best I've seen in years. It just goes to show a thriller can be totally engaging without gratuitous violence, buildings exploding, etc. This is a deeply psychological political story twisting its way through the life of a despicable, yet sympathetic, member of the East German secret police. It's his job to expose those who don't support Socialist ideals, and he chooses to spy on a playwright who seems too honest to be trusted. He becomes much more engaged in the lives of the playwright and his live-in girlfriend than he ever anticipated.

Without spoiling it, I'll say that the film was much more than a portrayal of a world filled with informants spying on their neighbors, which is compellling enough. It explores a journey to self-awareness, and the capacity of one to change.

A very enthusiastic thumbs up!

The June-athon

2007-03-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

So I'm shamelessly copying this idea from Aimee (Jade Road) and her husband, who are walking the distance from their home to Beijing while they wait for referral. It's an ambitious venture, to say the least (somewhere near 7000 miles)! Hats off to you guys!!!!

We're not quite that determined. But, I'm getting spring fever and am anxious to set a new goal. Last spring, I signed up for exercise boot camp (and am still waking up around 5am out of habit, the only habit that stuck). This year, I've decided to walk 1000 miles between now and when we travel to China. Mike has offered to walk 1000 miles of his own. My wild guess for our referral date is about 14 months from now, and once that referral comes I can't imagine we'll have time to keep up with the walks when we're getting ready to travel. So.... that means we each need to walk about 17 miles per week if we're going to finish on time. If there actually is a speed up in referrals, we're going to have to haul ass. But that's a good problem to have!

We both got pedometers and are NOT counting distance walked around the office, to the kitchen for cookies, etc. We are only calculating walks taken outside, or on the treadmill.

As of today: 3 miles down, 997 to go!

Mazal Tov to Greg and Kristin!

2007-03-10T02:55:00.000-08:00

Congrats to Greg and Kristin on the bris held yesterday for their son Benjamin!

A fascinating (and moving) experience for most of us who had never attended one, and exhausting for this little guy as you can see...

Whiplash

2007-03-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

The rumormill went haywire this week. Here are the Cliff's Notes, I hope I have it right:

First, nobody thought referrals would be coming for a couple weeks. Then, they suddenly showed up yesterday. Hooray!

Then, reports of referrals up to 10/24/05. Boo.

THEN, reports of referrals for LIDs up to 10/31! Yeah!!

But only for some agencies. Huh??

And then reports of families with LIDs of 10/24 that were skipped even though other families with the same agency got referrals. Major major suckage.

It seems as though the "pay to say" program is now being implemented, in that agencies are ponying up for info on their LID dates, rather than having the info publicly announced every month. It also seems like universal cutoff dates are a thing of the past... it may all depend on how many dossiers a matcher has to match with a specific agency.

It's early days, but I think safe to assume that for the time being, we will have even less of an idea of what's going on inside the hallowed halls of the CCAA...

Happy New Year!

2007-02-18T04:23:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year begins today. Year of the Golden Boar. I'm lighting a red candle and keeping up positive thoughts that finally, this will be the year our baby is born. I also find myself thinking of her first parents... knowing that our joy will unavoidably be connected to their loss and grief. Mostly today I'm contemplating questions that can never be answered in a closed adoption. Is someone walking around in China today, pregnant with the girl who will eventually become our daughter? Is she young and single, or older, married, and already has a child? And her father, is he struck with sadness or the sense that one must do what needs to be done? I guess all we can do as adoptive parents is be grateful that they will have made the choice to put their baby somewhere safe where she could begin her part of the journey to our family.

Well, before I embark on a totally self-indulgent soliloquy, I'll just end here and say Happy New Year to all those who celebrate!

Dandies are Dandy!

2007-02-13T16:10:00.000-08:00

Those who know me know I have a special place in my heart for Dandie Dinmonts, and that I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon since Bill Cosby's little guy won Best of Group at Westminster last night. I fell in love with one last year who took 2nd place in another show. Their curmudgeonly old man looks, the barks that are five times their size. Totally irresistable!

Does he have a chance for Best in Show, or will the ridiculously coiffed Toy Poodle take home the prize? (I promise, Sophie will never, ever, EVER look like that. Ever.)

Under Review

2007-02-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

There are some days when I hate the rumor mill ("18 more months to go before referral!") and other days when I like it ("After March '06 LIDs, there's a big drop in dossiers!"). Of course one has to take it all with a grain of salt. Especially when two completely opposing rumors surface at the same time.

Today, though, I choose to embrace the following rumor: May '06 LIDs are in the review room! I'm sure we won't hear that we passed review for ages, but when we do we are SO opening the $50 bottle of wine somebody gave Mike at work last year. Here's hoping it hasn't gone totally putrid by then. (Uh, and that we actually pass review, too...)

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Month

2007-02-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

That's right, referral time! Current cutoff date: Oct 13, 2005. It's about 2 weeks worth of log-in dates. Not spectacular but at least it doesn't indicate any further slow down. If it continues at this rate, we've got 14 months to go.

Congrats to all the new parents!!

Tagged Again!

2007-01-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Ironic that I'd get tagged about books after I just finished talking about Marley & Me. As usual, I'm late to the party and everyone I want to tag already updated their blogs. Oh well! For those who are interested, here are the instructions:

1) Find the nearest book (please try to keep it PG rated)
2) Open to page 123
3) Type lines 6-8 of said book
4) Tag three others

As I haven't yet installed a new book on the coffee table for leisurely reading, M&M is the closest one. Here goes:

"Her skin was ashen. We sat alone on the pavement for what seemed like hours but was in actuality, the police report later showed, about three minutes. Only gradually did I think to check on what had become of Marley."

Sounds exciting, huh? Better go pick up a copy!

Thanks for the tag, Tracy!

Sophie & Me

2007-01-18T16:21:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, Mike bought me the book Marley & Me, which I'd heard about on and off but never paid much mind to. Now that I have leapt so enthusiastically onto the dog-lover bandwagon, I embrace the many canine themed gifts I've gotten this year and dove into bed each night for the past week at 9pm (yes, 9pm) so I could continue reading this wonderful account of the life of a lovable, loopy family dog.

I finished it last night and after the cathartic sobfest that accompanies such books, I realized that I must remember to appreciate Sophie's puppy days, for they are short lived. She has already grown so much and we only snapped a few shots of her as a baby. Having loved and lost family pets over the years, I know full well how their lifetimes are so brief. Reading the book served as a reminder that I shouldn't hesitate to give her that extra hug, walk, etc., and cherish every moment with her.

If you've got pets, give 'em a little extra love tonight... they won't turn it down!

Tagged...

2007-01-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Tracy(Patiently Waiting for Emma)
A - available or taken: Taken
B- best friend: My husband
C- cake or pie: any of the cream pies at Perkins
D- drink of choice: Yuengling Lager, ice cold, bottle
E-essential item you use everyday: Devacurl Angell hair gel
F-favorite color: red
G-gummy bears or worms: gummy bears (but would trade 100 gummy bears for 10 sour patch kids)
H-hometown: suburban Phila
I-indulgence: really good artisan cheese from Whole Foods
J-January or February: February, it's closer to spring
K-kid's names: June (eventually)
L-life incomplete without: Family, Friends and my Baby (Tracy couldn't have said it better)
M-marriage date: 3/27/04
N-number of siblings: One, older sister Esther
O-oranges or apples: Apples
P-phobias or fears: bare feet (silly but so true, I'm getting anxious just typing about it)
Q-favorite quote: "The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects the wind to change. The realist adjusts the sails."
R-reason to smile: my great family and adorable puppy
S-season: Spring
T-tag 4 people: ugh, everyone I was going to tag has already been tagged. Readers, feel free to tag yourselves...
U-unknown fact about me: my hair used to be poker straight (and gorgeous! ah, the days...)
V-veggie - love vegetable soup but sort of have to make myself eat them otherwise
W-worst habit: per me: nail biting. per my husband: hair twirling, he hates that
X-xrays: chest x-ray when I was really sick once
Y-your favorite food: japanese tofu teriyaki, and vanilla ice cream for dessert
Z-zodiac: Aries (very impulsive!)

Happy Holidays

2006-12-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone is having a great holiday, whatever you celebrate. We had a great time on Christmas Eve (my first time hosting the family) and Christmas Day (at Mike's parents' house).

I have two favorite gifts this year: first, my mom is moving to my neighborhood after a couple years of being far enough away that we don't get together as often as we would like. We are all super excited to have her nearby. Second, I received the best adoption morale booster possible: the 2007 Families with Children from China calendar. The calendar, which can be bought at chinasprout.com, contains oodles of photos and stories of children adopted from various provinces, special needs and non-special needs, all ages, boys and girls. (The proceeds from the sale of these calendars benefit charities for children in orphanages in China, plus cultural education initiaves.) Mike and I got a huge lift from this. We are obviously a little sad that we've still got such a long road ahead, but the faces of these adorable kids grinning back at me every day will serve as a reminder that yes, we'll have our daughter one day and get us through another year!

OK, I confess that there was a third gift I'm totally in love with: my Coach bag from sis. She apparently "knows people" in NY? (I didn't ask.) For someone who usually buys her purses off the clearance rack at Marshall's, this was quite a treat. Note to self: do not spill wine on this bag, it will not wipe up easily like pleather.

Happy Holidays to all!!

Sophie's New Do

2006-12-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

Just back from the spa... just like her mom, the nice straight locks you see here gave way to her tight, God-given curls approximately ten minutes after we got home. But, being a curly girl isn't so bad, is it Soph?

In other news, we did quite possibly the most suburban thing ever and had a playdate with another puppy last weekend. The trainer from puppy school set us up. On the drive over I was thinking how I wouldn't admit to this outing to anyone, but on the drive back home I had to admit that Sophie and Molly (a cockapoo 8 months old) had the time of their lives and we owners enjoyed each other's company too! Next time we get together I'll take pictures of the girls in action.

Re-elect Cora for US Senate

2006-12-15T15:12:00.000-08:00

Obama Schmobama! There's another new senator making headlines: moi.

I received a box of Harrod's chocolates today from one of my clients in the UK. So excited was I at the prospect of spending my Friday afternoon sampling truffles (and generally avoiding working as much as possible), I nearly missed the address on the package.

I haven't yet gotten to the bottom of this. Do the British address their US business associates as "senator"? Could she possibly think I am a senator? And most importantly, is this a sign that I should be running for the Senate?

Ahh, who cares. I'm just going to eat my lovely chocolates.

NYC Get Together!

2006-12-03T04:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we got together with our new waiting-parent pals - that's Mike and me, Bob and Tracy and Jen and Matt. For anyone in the Northeast who is interested, this little get-together was organized on Soul of Adoption, and there will be future messages about getting together for Chinese New Year. We met up in Little Italy for lunch and quickly learned that the experiences we've had during the paperchase, the wait, etc. have been SO similar. I for one am really happy to have been able to meet others with LID dates so close to ours - we have all had such similar experiences over the past year. We promised that next year we'll get together again with either referral photos firmly in hand, or babies snug in our laps!

Referrals were mailed this past week, and somehow some 9/14/05 LIDS got theirs although others were skipped. Nobody knows why, and it's perplexing to hear about families being skipped. Hopefully this will be resolved soon... and progress is progress so I can't complain too much. We are inching closer and closer!

Three Days and Counting...

2006-11-26T16:18:00.000-08:00

The tree is still up! Sophie doesn't seem to even notice it. In fact, I'll confess that I stuffed her kong (best dog toy ever) with treats and stuck it under the tree just so she'd get close enough for me to snap this picture.

With the holidays here we sure do wish we were a lot closer to the referral than we thought we'd be at this time last year... and it all feels too far away to not feel odd buying anything for June. (I know lots of other prospective parents are cool with it, just a personal thing for us.) But, we'll spoil the dog rotten and hope that Christmas 2007 will bring either a trip to China or at the very least, a referral. By THEN the shopping bonanza will be in full swing!

I believe you have my stapler...

2006-11-08T16:10:00.000-08:00

Love Office Space? I did. Watch it a million times on cable just because it was on and it got funnier every time? No? Oh. I did. We all have our guilty pleasures. (I also find The Notebook strangely alluring whenever it's on Encore but quickly change channels when Mike is coming downstairs... but I digress)

So this remix has probably been around for a long time but it just made its way to my inbox (thanks Trish). Lots of Office Space mash-ups online, I discovered, but they pale in comparison to this hilarious psycho thriller trailer...

I swear one of these days we'll get back to blogging about the adoption (as soon as something, anything happens!)

It Finally Clicked For Us

2006-11-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

We started obedience school last night. By all accounts, Sophie is a good little pup, but set on pleasing herself, not her masters. And she's started a nasty little habit of barking when she doesn't feel like doing what's asked. Before things careen out of control, we decided to call a trainer, because what I've tried so far isn't doing diddly. The trainer uses clicker training (fancy pants name: operant conditioning), similar to what they use with dolphins. Doggie does something right, you click the clicker, then give a treat. Doggie soon learns that whatever action she just did is marked by the clicker, and yummy stuff is on the way.

The trainer warned me that the first night, it would be horrible. She was right. Sophie's interest was mostly in what the other dogs were up to (one of whom occasionally pooped on the gymnasium floor). But after a good night's sleep, a fresh bag of treats, and no distractions, she caught on extremely quickly. My girl sat on command 15 times in a row tonight, ended her barking after only 3 tries, and did lots more right than wrong. Off to a great start.

I wonder, with a little extra work, could I use this thing to get Mike to take out the trash?

Sophie's Choice

2006-10-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

Five weeks in (how time flies when you are chasing a semi-housetrained dog around with poopy bags, bribery treats, and Good Owners, Great Dogs in your hand, and yet the wait for June feels like the clock has literally stopped) and Sophie's still the cutest ever. She's a fickle one, though. Whenever Mike leaves the house, she goes into full whining mode. He says she does the same thing when I leave too, but I don't know about that. I'm more the disciplinarian so she probably breathes a sigh of relief, finally getting a break from hearing me squawk "Off! Go potty! No bite!" Daddy's much more fun. Really, though, she's a good doggie in general. I try to remember that one day we'll miss her puppy days, exhausting as they are.

Anywho, congrats to the Salsa in China peeps on their adoption. Proof that while it feels like forfreakingever, it DOES happen! Could those girls be cuter? I think I'll just sit and sigh a while...

Brina's Wedding

2006-10-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, Wisconsin. Land of the cheese (mmmmm, cheese), home of the Packers. It was where my friends Brent and Gina got married in lovely Door County this past weekend. They were kind enough to invite me and my winter coat to join them (average temp this weekend: 40's. Felt like: really really a lot colder). Somehow we braved the outdoors (or should I say SHE braved it in her strapless frock, the rest of us snug in heavy coats, Packer blankets, etc) and it was quite beautiful.

I must say I met possibly the nicest people ever this weekend. For any Midwestern folk reading this, I give you props for your hospitality, laid-backness and kindness. As an East Coaster who is used to being almost always stressed out and around people who are almost always stressed out, it was refreshing to slow the pace a little.

And I have to tell you about my introduction to cheese curds. They are heaven. If you like cheese. Squeaky cheese, that is. When Gina and Brent first described them to me, I was slightly horrified (but only slightly because really is there any bad cheese?), and then they brought me a bag to sample. Then we moved on to deep fried cheese curds. Then some wine. Then a nap in the car on the way to the hotel. Absolutely lovely.

Anyway, congrats to the happy couple. Your wedding was one righteous party. Come see us in Philly when you're ready to return for a cheesesteak.

She's settling in nicely...

2006-10-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

Puppy Love

2006-09-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

We've fallen hook line and sinker for Sophie. It's hard to believe she's only been here six days! She already feels like she's been with us forever.

I think she might be good practice for June. A poodle pup is no toddler, but she sure is a lot of work. (It took me almost an hour to post this.) We've been working hard at trying to housetrain her (hit and miss all week) and we have to take turns watching her like a hawk. She doesn't really know how to entertain herself yet so we're trying to keep her busy with the deluge of toys that have found their way into our living room.

It's great to have a little bundle to give all our love to. Her "grandparents" are also excited, offering to puppysit and stopping by with toys and treats. I think the family needed her as much as she needed us! Who knows when June is coming, she feels very very far away right now (current wait time: 14.5 months and rising steadily). Sophie has come at the perfect time to soak up all the attention she deserves as a puppy, and be here to welcome June when it's her turn to arrive. Whenever that is!!!

Sophie Makes Four!

2006-09-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

Talk about a fast track adoption! This is Sophie. She is a 4 month old miniature poodle. We had been talking for ages about bringing a pup into the house, (well, I had been talking, Mike had been hemming and hawing). We have a good year yet till June's referral (hopefully less but we're trying to be realistic) and so finally we agreed that this would be a good time to go for it.

For the last few days, we have been talking to other dog owners and trying to make up our minds about which breed would be best for our allergies... and we agreed on a poodle. We started researching breeders and rescue organizations. And then this morning, we decided to stop at the mall just to look at them, just for fun, not planning to buy.

We got to the mall just before the stores started opening and noticed a mom and daughter waiting with a light brown poodle pup. So we chatted with them a few mins and learned that they had to return the dog (they called her Ginger, so that'll be her middle name - yes she gets a middle name) because their own dog was snipping at her and clearly did not want to share his home with another. When we told them that we were actually looking for a poodle, they handed her over to us for a look and we fell hook line and sinker for this gorgeous girl.

They assured us that she was in good health, had a great temperament, and were it not for their little master of the house at home, they wouldn't have been returning her. Everyone seemed to be struck with a "right place at the right time" feeling and without even stepping into the store, we made our arrangements for them to sell her to us, and an hour later, we went to their house to officially get her. We are so happy that it worked out the way it did and I think her first family feels pretty good about it too.

And now she is home and bouncing about. We made an appt for the groomer next week, and need to find a vet. And of course we can't wait to take her to Petsmart to pick out some toys!

We love her to pieces!!!

A Little Angst

2006-08-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

Despite efforts to stay away from the rumor boards, we've been watching the latest developments. The wait time continues to rise faster than the cost of gasoline. An 18 month wait from LID to referral looks very possible now (most recent referral group: 12.5 months). Rumors of potential new restrictions being made on adoptive parent applications are swirling like crazy. While I don't think we have much to be concerned about (unless they suddenly decide they don't want to give a baby to someone with controlled hypertension, or disregard their tradition of grandfathering LID families when new rules come out). But, it's still disheartening. Singles may be excluded soon. There may be a cap on ages and much tighter restrictions on past personal history, health, etc.

I find it all disconcerting since word came recently that Korea is slowly shutting down their international adoption program. I can't speak to that since I don't know all the reasons why, but it appears that IA is becoming more and more complicated and more challenging for adoptive parents. And while I understand a nation's desire to find homes for its children in-country, there are far, far more babies than domestic households that can take them. And it feels, from this end of things, that a lot of red tape is holding up the uniting of children and those who very much want to become their parents right now.

More Guilty Pleasures

2006-08-07T07:43:00.000-07:00

In keeping with my summer of guilty pleasures, I'm totally hooked on Who Wants to Be a Superhero on the Sci Fi Channel. Kind of a comic book version of Survivor Meets The Apprentice. Each contestant creates a superhero, dons a costume of their own making, and competes in various challenges. Stan Lee judges them not only on their physical capabilities but their integrity, compassion and honesty, and kicks one to the curb each week (with an unceremonious disrobing of their superhero outfits). The winner is immortalized in a comic book and star in their own Sci-Fi movie. It's silly. Silly silly silly. But the contestants are engaging, and despite some obvious scripting, the show is fast paced and very entertaining.

My money is on Major Victory! Be a winner not a weiner!!!

American Idols in Philly

2006-07-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

Dear June,

Your parents were goobers and went to the American Idol concert last night. Daddy said he was being ironical, but Mommy saw him cheering for his favorites without once looking at his watch. Aunt Mel and Uncle Sean had unabashed fun too, sipping oversized sodas and photographing wildly as Ace pounded his chest during “Father Figure”, Paris shook her moneymaker and Taylor actually did some justice to “Do I Make You Proud”, despite his signature stroke victim moves and extra shiny jacket.

As for Mommy, she found herself loving Mandisa all over again and nurturing an under-developed crush on Chris Daughtry, who was so obviously robbed in this competition. For a good fifteen minutes, the show resembled a rock concert while he took the stage, and the crowd went positively nuts, but eventually reverted back to the laser-lit choreographed talent show (brought to you by PopTarts!) and ended with an undeniably cheesy finale, replete with a full-company rendition of “We are the Champions/Living in America”.

We told ourselves, June, that one day you’ll be nine years old and want to go to concerts like this and won’t yet have developed your cynical side (at least we hope not). We told ourselves that this was good practice for when we take you to a big prefab pop concert and that now we know we can sit through it… but the plain truth is that we really enjoyed ourselves (despite having just seen a two-hour commercial for American Idol Season Six) and we’re not embarrassed to admit it.

We’re sorry honey. Mommy and Daddy are goobers.

Look Who's 40!

2006-07-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Mike turns 40 today! We celebrated yesterday with lots of family, friends, food, games and a Marilyn Monroe telegram. It was good fun and the fickle weather even held out.

It really would be great if we can celebrate his next birthday with a referral and photo of June. But for now, we'll spend the day eating leftover cake, laying around in the air conditioning and watching some of the movies he got as gifts.

Happy Birthday Mike!!! I loves ya.

Luck Be a Ladybug Tonight

2006-07-10T16:51:00.000-07:00

I try not to buy too much into superstitions. Really I don't. But tonight I didn't bother to help myself: I saw this beautiful ladybug making her way round my porch while I was hosing down the flowerbed, and immediately became ~~obsessed with~~ interested in her every move. One moment, I was going about my normal watering routine, trying not to get water all over my socks (but doing it anyway), and the next I was frantically yelling up to the third floor to Mike to bring the camera pronto.

And in the moments that followed, the silent paparazzi that was me followed the ladybug from to porch step to geranium leaf to iron ladybug statue we keep on the porch. (OK, I’ll shamefully admit I coaxed her onto my finger and literally posed her. Is that terrible? Will I be an evil stage mom one day??)

Some of my overly eager optimism probably came from reading the first positive rumor on the adoption wait in a really long time. Could CCAA possibly get through all of July ’05 this month? If so it could finally mean the tides are turning and we could have June home next summer after all.

Ladybug, make it so!

First Hike: Bushkill Falls

2006-07-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Over the holiday weekend, we took our first hike through Bushkill Falls in the Poconos. A good new-to-hiking experience as it was basically just an uphill walk through stairways built around the falls, plus some trudging up a few steep hills. No equipment, extra pairs of socks or trail mix required!

We've gotten a reply from a hiking club in the area who will let us be guests on a "real" hike. They maintain a tiny section of the Appalachian and will start up official hikes again in the fall. In the meantime, April has been shuffling around my workout program to include tougher treadmill sessions. So far, I am injury free. (And still making it to the gym at 5:15am, no minor miracle.)

More pics of the beautiful falls:

On the adoption front, I am back to reading more and more books. Currently on the nightstand: Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina (pretty good) and From China With Love by Emily Buchanan (very good). Oh, and in response to RQ's request, if you have a LID prior to May 4 2006, click here and vote in the July poll! The more data she can collect and analyze, the better!

That Time of the Month

2006-06-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the month, when Mike and I gather round the laptop to share in the joy of other waiting familes' referrals being posted. Thanks to my good friends over at the Salsa in China blog (well OK, they really don't know I exist), there was a virtual smorgasbord of referral links to ogle!

Now that we have a log-in date, we REALLY live vicariously through the parents who waited so patiently before us. The wait feels interminable, but once we read the bios of the babies, admire the adorable pix, and soak up some of the bliss, we're thrilled to know our day will come too.

Congrats to all the new moms and dads, we'll be anxiously following your journeys while you're in China!!

Out of the Running...

2006-06-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

Already, it seems, I will not be running a 10K after all. My knee, which never acted up during the short 5 minute runs during boot camp, now refuses to cooperate on longer jogs. This happened in my twenties, and I should have known better. So, oh well. Better to pay attention to the signals than wind up sifting through the yellow pages looking for an orthopedic surgeon in a couple years!

Down but not out, I've decided to instead start preparing for a fall hike on the Appalachian Trail. I think that's a good goal, something challenging to work on, to keep me from obsessively checking in with the Rumor Queen, and do something in the name of good health.

In other news, our local Burlington Coat Factory is going out of business. I'm thisclose to stopping in tomorrow to check out baby things. I haven't made a single June-related purchase yet. I think it's mostly because of paranoia that things will fall through. But now, with LID firmly in place, I'm tempted.... so tempted...

Staying on Track

2006-06-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

June's adoption continues hover in the far, far distance, and I have to find a way to not accidentally unload all my paychecks at Babies R Us. So I'm determined to do the following things:

1.) Keep my chin up. No whining.
2.) Maintain something that resembles a blog, without boring you to death.
3.) Run a 10K race.

So, for those who enjoyed my five weeks of torture at boot camp, I'll be chronicling my near-insane attempt to prepare to cross the finish line of the Friends of the Dove 10K. I am almost certainly in over my head, as you need to be able to run 6 miles and I can currently run 1. But my new trainer, April, whom I pay sufficient funds weekly to tell me the truth about my athletic capabilities, says I can do it. So, it's back at the gym at 5:30am, several days a week, on the treadmill, the track, and eventually the uneven terrain of the park at which the race will be held.

At first I really didn't want to do it. But then I read this totally inspiring article and realized that if this poor guy can finish the XTERRA triathlon, I can pull it together enough to run a measly 10K. So... here goes nothing!

LID!!

2006-06-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

Got a note from our agency. We were DTC on May 9th and LID an astounding 3 days later. So it's official - May 12th '06 LID!

Hurrah!!!

Pump and Circumstance

2006-06-03T03:50:00.000-07:00

I survived! Boot camp graduation happened yesterday. It is hard to believe it but not only did I make it through something I thought would exercise my humiliation more than my glutes, I actually came to love it. I would have been sad to see it end, but Dr. Drill announced that it is indeed not ending. He’ll be running the program as long as possible.

I’ve decided to stick with the trainer I signed up with for 2 months. I’ll be going back to boot camp soon, though. There’s something about the camaraderie of the class I never got from other workout classes. Maybe it’s because there’s so much back & forth sounding off between us and Dr. Drill. Maybe it’s because we never know which one of us is getting slapped with extra pushups and when someone does, we feel their pain. Maybe it’s because we’re all just working our asses off at 5:30 in the morning. Whatever it is, by the end of the session most of us made friends and everyone was cheering for each other when we got our diplomas.

Before we officially “graduated”, we had to do the same physical assessment we’d done at the beginning. Pushups, squats, crunches and running laps. It was interesting to see how far we came. I did almost double the crunches and laps in the same amount of time! And for the first time in five weeks (or 15 years, more like) I sprinted. Me!

Then came the certificates. It turns out 27 out of 35 participants graduated, and each of us was individually recognized. Then came the honors. A few weeks ago, I had designs on getting some kind of award, then quickly downgraded my hopes after realizing how pathetically out of shape I was. But I got one! Most Disciplined Recruit. That felt good. I did push it. And I’m going to keep it up. Like I said, everything is different now. Here are some of the changes that took place in just 5 weeks:

1.) I lost 7 lbs.
2.) I became a vegetarian after reading a book recommended by Dr. Drill.
3.) I can now jump out of bed at 5am no problem (good practice for motherhood I think)
4.) I am now training for a 10K in the fall.

Five weeks ago, I don’t think I would have believed any of this. And at the risk of sounding sappy, now I feel that if I could complete this program, I could take on much bigger prospects. This is my life now. I think I’ll be a better mom for it. And a better wife too. Mike is not complaining!

Today is the local 5K, which marks another beginning for me. I will probably finish dead last, but it’s a place to start with training for the 10K. Me. Run.

Crazy!!!

More pictures from our final week...

One More Week

2006-05-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

As boot camp draws to a close, little coincidences have been popping up. I try not to analyze these things too much (well, OK I do) - but it seems almost like the signs are telling me that boot camp has been the dawn of a new era. The first interesting bit is that Mike recently signed up for a 5K. A couple days later, Dr. Drill told us that our graduation will BE the same 5K. So Mike and I get to run together. (Truth be told, he'll be sprinting ahead while I am verrrrry sloooowly jogging way behind.) Then he can watch me get my certificate or whatever it is we're getting once I, the caboose, finish up the race.

Maybe that's not a big coincidence, but tell me this one isn't: Dr. Drill is moving into the condo behind ours. We'll be sharing the same courtyard! Pretty scary, huh? If he wanted to root through our trash to see if we're ordering takeout, he could.

Anyway I think it's pretty cool that the guy who's been a positive influence, not just on me but on Mike as well, will be our neighbor. Mike came to Take a Buddy to Boot Camp Day on Friday, and decided to sign up for the next session. We're going to take turns, and keep going for as long as we can. It is hard to believe that boot camp previously never existed, and funny how I came upon it completely by accident. Because it's really opened some doors. The adoption is taking an excruciating amount of time (most recent rumors: 18 months more to wait) and I feel like I am supposed to be using this time to get my act together, health wise. I want to be a healthy mom, as healthy as I can be. Already I feel tons better than I did at the start. I think maybe I'm even starting to look a little better, too, but unlike in the past, I'm trying to focus on the internal, adaptive changes rather than be obsessed so much on dress sizes and my dysfunctional relationship with the scale. It certainly never worked for me in the past!

I think we'll be outdoors for this final week, so I'll snap some pictures.

Getting Down and Dirty

2006-05-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I knew, just knew, that Dr. Drill would be taking us outdoors today. Sure enough, after we stood at attention and my neighbor completed 25 pushups for not standing at complete attention, he sent us downstairs and into the cool morning. We formed three ranks and marched out to a field, sounding off cadences the whole time. (Have to admit, love the cadences. Must be the college music major in me)

Once at our destination, we engaged in all sorts of craziness. We lined up picnic tables and used the seating as steps. Up and down and up and down we stepped onto the benches. At 5'1, I enviously eyed the 6'3-ish guy across from me hopping up and down like he was on springs. Then, on the field, we had to do wind sprints (which I fondly call "winded sprints"), followed up with leap frogs, bear crawls, jumping, plyometric skipping (code for skipping as high and as far as you can) and eventually, walking. I aced the walking.

Soon afterwards, we found ourselves in a sandpit, where we did the familiar planks, crunches, pushups and leg lifts. At the end of the hour, most of us were filthy from grass, sand, dirt and effort. Back we marched to the gym. It was a tough workout, but good fun. Every morning around 4AM when I wake up and realize that the alarm clock is going off soon, I feel a sense of dread and wonder why someone in less-than-ideal condition is trying to do this. But it never fails: by the time we're halfway through the workout, I've got an adrenaline rush going and am really, really happy I haven't given up. I might be one of the slowest in the class, but I'm not ashamed. We're all there to get a good workout no matter who is the tortoise or the hare.

Cora & Marian Keyes = BFF

2006-05-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Today I took a brief diversion from all things adoption, market research and boot camp (although I did have BC this morning). With Mike in tow, I headed to Bryant Park in NYC to see the brilliant Marian Keyes at a book signing. I have loved this Irish author since I discovered her first novel, Watermelon, several years ago. Slowly but surely I've devoured each of her hilarious, poignant and painfully candid chick-lit books and pretty much loved them all. I hate to even use the word "chick-lit" because the label conjures up all sorts of oversimplified post-feminist hoopla. Her characters are always so well-crafted, so complicated and their problems so real, it's hard not to relate. I just love her. (Can you tell?) And when I found out there was a chance to actually meet her I was almost as joyful as Taylor will be when he wins American Idol next week.

Anyway, so she read a bit from her latest novel and then proceeded with the book signing. I nearly jumped in her lap when it was my turn, shamelessly gushing about how I came up from Philly and how I love every syllable she's ever written. She was kind enough to indulge in the love-fest, hugging me and saying how much she appreciated my taking the trip and that when she is having a bad day she'll remember me. If it's the same line she gives to all her devotees, she didn't act like it (and I would have eaten it all up anyway).

If you're a chick, and you enjoy a good, post-Bridget Jones tour of the adventures, joys and calamaties of being a woman, get thyself to the nearest Barnes & Noble and start with Watermelon. My personal faves: Last Chance Saloon and Rachel's Holiday. I'm telling you, she's brilliant.

Over the Hump

2006-05-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Something great happened yesterday.

I woke up yesterday and was no longer in agony. I drove to work, and got out of the car without having to contemplate it beforehand. My fledgling muscles screamed no more! Truly it was a turning point in my fitness quest. Because night before last, I was really discouraged (despite the adoption excitement). I fantasized briefly about going AWOL but knew Dr. Drill would be calling and emailing, and I knew I’d come too far to quit anyway. So I just went to bed early and miraculously, I awakened with renewed energy and enthusiasm. I’m back baby!! And today I was very glad I hadn’t given up: we had a few absentees, and the poor souls who were friends with one of them had to do pushups, planks and preloads (lay on back, feet six inches off the ground) while the rest of us got to stretch. Harsh? I guess so. But we had plenty of warning that sympathy would be scarce and we’d have to pay for the sins of others. I wonder what’s in store for the absentees on Monday…

And now, the second week is already finished. Still loving it. Who knew these 34-yr-old knees could still jog? And considering that I’m not in great shape, I’m thrilled that I can do most of the exercises in class (mountain climbers and regular pushups aside). And the best part is that for once I can actually see myself doing the exercises that seem impossible now. It might not happen by the end of boot camp, but I’m signing on with a trainer afterwards to keep going. My loosening jeans and desire to get fit for the long haul are helping me to make more commitments. I’ve already met her and she’s ready for me once Dr. Drill turns us loose.

Here are some pictures, for anyone who thinks I'm making this whole thing up. In the one with the body bars, I'm the one all the way to the left, completely out of sync with the class. Not my fault though! I'd just joined in after doing a solo exercise.

Break out the champagne... We're DTC!!!

2006-05-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

We got the official letter from the agency today. Our dossier was mailed to China today! Finally!!!

The letter says it’ll take another month to be logged in. But I’ve been hearing they are logging them in pretty quickly the last month or so. Keeping our fingers crossed.

Was just about to log on and complain about how sore I am from boot camp (because then pain never ends, it just drifts from one body part to the next) – but the news of finally being DTC is an analgesic (and endorphin). We are one big step closer to our June so there's nothing to whine about in life.

Off to toast our happy news!

Labor Pains

2006-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

What a week. It appears we all survived our first three sessions of ~~Dr. Evil~~ Dr. Drill, and I don’t think many people, if any, dropped out. It is really tough, but seriously, he’s a pretty inspiring guy. You can really tell he’s doing this because he wants us to push ourselves outside our comfort zone and be truly fit and healthy. And he’s sincerely nice. Just no-nonsense and no-excuses.

Still, though. There were a couple moments when I did ask myself if I was nuts. Like the class on Wednesday when the front row had to lay on their backs and hold their feet six inches off the ground, while the back two rows had to do planks. Forever. One at a time, he went around to each person on their backs and dropped a ten pound medicine ball. Each person caught it and threw it back up at him. He worked his way around the room, row by row, as we all took turns between the medicine ball and the planks, and I had to dig down deep not to collapse and then be forced to do pushups.

Speaking of pushups, they were doled out frequently. Latecomers, knockers-over of canteens, and someone who snickered at a command in the back row. Today I was singled out to carry two heavy ammo cans around the track three times, then do shoulder shrugs with them, but I can’t tell if it was a punishment for looking the wrong way, or if I was just one of the lucky ones.

A highpoint: during an isometric exercise I got my first atta-girl: “excellent job Cora!" (I would have flushed with pride were I not already flushed with exhaustion.) No time to rest on my laurels though: later I was scolded for not picking my knees up high enough when jogging.

Anyway, I love it. I’ve never pushed myself this hard before. I’ve never hurt this bad before. In fact I couldn’t sleep the other night, every muscle ached so much I couldn’t get comfortable. But there’s some pride to be had in crawling out of bed at 4:45 and working up a sweat before the sun is up! And I admit I get a kick out of telling people what I’m doing and watching them cringe.

One week down, four to go!

P.S. We should have our dossier mailed to China next week. I don’t know which will be more likely to flow: tears of relief or swigs of champagne?

Daaaaawg-tired

2006-05-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

In previous musings about my future as a member of First Platoon Lansdale, I toyed with the notion that I might win some kind of award at the end of boot camp. With an hour’s worth of experience behind me, I can now safely say I’ll be lucky to make it out alive.

It was really freaking hard. I am really freaking out of shape. I’ve spent the last month “pushing” myself on the elliptical machine and thought I was doing well if I got myself sweated up within the first seven minutes of my workout. When we did our first set of pushups, I broke a sweat in seven seconds. By the time we finished the evil EVIL squats, I was almost calling out for mommy.

A quick run-down of yesterday's events:

We stood attention while Dr. Drill made inspections of our ammo cans, which had to be cleaned, rust-free and decorated with something personal. (I chose an “ultrasound” of China – fitting, no?) A few recruits were chastised for not cleaning theirs enough, and made to do 20 pushups each. I made the mistake of gawking at this and then had to do 20 pushups myself. The shame!

We divided into groups and did various fitness assessments, i.e. as many push-ups as possible in 2 minutes, running laps for 5 minutes, and then we had to hold a squat for an unholy amount of time till everyone got it right. Next time I suspect we’ll be holding something heavy when we do that.

After the assessments, we did loads of jumping jacks followed by running as a group in tight formation around the track. You’ve seen military groups running together as one? That wasn’t us. I’ve seen ants in better formation. Some ran ahead too quickly, others tried to close the gap, and I came dangerously close to tripping over the girl in front of me. And all the while, Dr. Drill sounded off cadences and we had to respond:

I used to drive a Chevrolet!
I used to drive a Chevrolet!

Now I’m running every day!
Now I’m running every day!

It was hard to understand him sometimes, and I could tell I wasn’t the only one, because he’d yell something out and we’d respond along the lines of “Bah bah mrah na ba da ba!”

We have a lot of work ahead of us.

As we wrapped up the session in a circle on the floor for our lecture on discipline, he said this was basically just a taste of what’s ahead. I don’t doubt it. Later, in the locker room, a girl who’s experienced his classes first-hand confirmed this by saying “that guy is just crazy”.

Ready or Not, Here Comes Boot Camp

2006-04-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

We had our recruitment meeting today. This is the final step before we actually begin boot camp a week from Monday. Military cadences sounded from the speakers as we entered. Inspirational quotes were on display. Tasty yet healthful food was on hand. For a moment I was smug in noting that the sample meals they offered were almost exactly what I serve up at home, but I quickly remembered that if I had anything to be smug about, I wouldn’t have found myself in need of boot camp in the first place.

A few highlights from the meeting:

We each got one of these ammo cans. We have to scrub them, oil the hinges, and keep it orderly and clean for periodic inspection. They came with a fitness/food diary, a canteen, and Dr. Drill says we’ll be collecting other items along the way. There will be lectures each week on discipline, motivating, eating and exercise.

He promised that we’ll be working our butts off. We have to be ready to work at 5:30am sharp. If one person is late, we all pay. Someone asked if we’d be taking the workouts outside on nice days. He suggested that we’d be taking it outside on the not-so-nice days. Booo!

He promised that at some point, whether or not we like him now, we won’t like him in the future. Sounds ominous, but I’m looking forward to a little hostility to fire me up on sleepy mornings.
He promised that he’ll be handing out awards each week. And when we finish the five week camp, there will be a graduation ceremony. They’re trying to find an inspirational venue. They first mentioned Bodyworlds at the Franklin Institure here in Philly, but the exhibit will be shut down by then. Bummer. Anyway, more awarding will happen at graduation. I’m going to really really try to make sure my name is on one of those awards.

“Change before you have to.” That’s the theme of this entire project. I know I need to change… too many years lacking discipline. If I’m going to be a great mom to June, I need to teach by example and I don’t want the example to be me horizontal on the couch in front of American Idol (no matter how tempting that is). So I’m putting my faith in Dr. Drill and I dedicate my efforts to June.

We Interrupt This Adoption Blog to Bring You... A Boot Camp Blog

2006-04-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

I’m coming up short on adoption-related stories to relate to you, my faithful readers. Apart from the occasional sob-fest over the ever-increasing wait times, I’ve got a whole lot of nothing. We’ll be DTC soon. Then we’ll be LID. Then nothing. Long stretches of nothing. I fear if I do June’s room and get all show-offy about it, it’ll be out of style by the time she’s old enough to smear peanut butter on the carefully placed wallpaper border. If I keep telling you how my love for her, even without knowing her, swells with each passing day, you'll puke, and I'll give myself an aneurysm. I’ve gorged myself on too many China-related and adoption-related books and let’s face it: I’m not going to say anything about them you couldn’t find in the review section of Amazon. I'm just saying… the well’s going to dry up for a while.

What to do? Meander on about nothing? Sublet the blog to someone else with more interesting adoption news? Or just hang a “Back in 12 Months” sign? Well…

As I mentioned previously, I’ve signed up for fitness boot camp. Since then I’ve contemplated it, feared it, and ultimately have become very committed to it. Today I met with Dr. Drill, who deemed me fit for torture 3 days a week for 5 weeks. I’ve decided that I’m going to take this seriously and since I’ve got no other distractions for the foreseeable future, there’s no excuse not to succeed. Therefore, I’ll be relating my progress here. I'll still post about the adoption of course, anytime I've got something newsworthy.

Camp starts two weeks from today. To prepare for the cringe-inducing 4:45am wake time, I’ve been hitting the gym earlier and earlier every day. I need a mini boot camp just to prepare for boot camp.

I think I can do this. No, I can do this! So long as I don’t have to shave my head.

Insanely Depressing Referral Rumors

2006-04-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

I don't want to get into the habit of repeating rumors when I can't confirm their origins. I'm mostly just disgusted so I'm writing to vent rather than to inform.

Recent rumblings suggest the wait time could go to 20-24 months. I can't believe I just typed that. Two years??? Theories abound: less paper-ready babies due to the Hunan baby abduction trial thus orphanages very hesitant, twice the number of family dossiers being logged in, a potentially deliberate slowdown because of the upcoming Olympics, etc. In a moment of weakness, I called my agency for reassurance. They don't speculate on rumors and simply stated that if they learn of anything factual from their facilitator in China, they will notify all families.

Perhaps I need to stop trolling the web for rumors, because nothing can be changed. We're in this for the long haul, however long it is. As long as there is no indication that adoptions are being STOPPED, there's nothing to do but wait it out. But when you've got pages of calendar ahead, it's hard not to join the others and whine in unison "HURRY UP!!!"

Adoption in the Animal Kingdom

2006-04-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks Trish for emailing this!

This is the story of Finnegan. He was a newborn squirrel found at the base of a tree, and given to a woman named Debby Cantlon, who takes in animals in need. Cantlon, who has cancer, says rescuing animals is therapeutic for her. She plans to release Finnegan back into the wild.

Shortly after taking in Finnegan, Cantlon's pregnant Papillon, Giselle, gave birth to a litter of puppies who promptly accepted Finnegan as part of their brood. Enjoy these very sweet pictures of a loving adoptive family!

OK. NOW I'm cheering!

2006-04-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

I got word back from the agency. The 797 is fine as is. They will contact the proper people to let them know about the hyphen but said we can move forward regardless. Apparently there are goofs on the names all the time. That's reassuring.

Aaaaaaanyway, the jeer within a cheer is that the agency says it will take them 4 weeks to certify and authenticate the document and prepare for DTC. I'm a little disappointed after hearing others do the C&A on their own inside a week! But... we've paid them for the dossier service, and it's out of our hands, so we won't bellyache about it and just be grateful that our part of the deal is done.

We can expect a DTC confirmation letter by early May. In the meantime, I'm waking my sorry self up a little earlier every day in preparation for BOOT CAMP!

It Has Arrived!!!! But I'm not Cheering Yet

2006-04-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

Apparently, in order to receive your Immigration documents, you must write an alarmingly bad blues song. Because 12 short hours later, to what should my bleary eyes appear but the holy, elusive, golden ticket. It was as if the forces that be were screaming "OK OK, if we send it will you make her stop???"

But before I pull out my almost-34-year-old back doing cartwheels, I am afraid that this piece of paper may be worthless. My middle name, which is my maiden name, is listed as hyphenated with my married name. I checked the I-600A to see if I was smoking something funny when I filled it out. No, I did it as I always do. Maiden name written clearly in the "middle name" section. But, it's here on the 797-C, staring me in the face, "Cora Maiden-Married".

I tried to keep the tone of my hurriedly written email to the agency absent of desperation. If it needs to be re-issued, one can only hope that I'll get right in front of the line again. Right? Right??

We'll see what the agency says tomorrow morning. Thank God they check their email as obsessively as I do!

Immigration Blues

2006-04-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you've got too much time on your hands and have already read everyone else's blogs for the day. You write what could possibly be The Worst Blues Song Ever.

You've been warned.

Immigration Blues

I’ve been sittin’ here, waitin’ for my 171

I said I’m sittin here waitin’… waitin’ for that 171

It’s been four weeks, three days and six hours,

And you still haven’t come along

Mister mailman, when you gonna bring it to me?

Oh mister mailman, I don’t need another magazine

Just bring me that ticket, all I want is that ticket

To bring me closer to my baby…

I ain’t been messin’ around, been so good with the things to do

I went to the classes, the doc and the notary too

But now I’m waitin’, waitin’ here for you

I got the Immigration Blues

(Harmonica solo)

Now look here mister mailmain, I can’t wait another day

Don’t drop off the bills and then just walk away

My heart can’t take it, no it just can’t take it

Bring me my 171, I say bring it today

What Have I Done??

2006-04-01T08:11:00.000-08:00

I just accidentally signed up for boot camp.

It all started innocently enough. Lately I've been bored and lonely. Mike has been working very long hours and I haven't had a whole lot happening with the adoption. My candle biz is quiet as candle season is over for a while. We had been going to a little gym 'round the corner, but it hasn't been holding my interest with its dozen machines. I needed a change.

So I decided to join the YMCA instead. Maybe I could find some volunteer opportunities there, get a better workout, maybe even take some classes. Today, after my workout and as I wandered around getting to know the place, I found a flyer for Dr. Drill Instructor. I asked the girl at the desk about it, who said he's terrific but space is limited so I should sign up right away for the seminar on April 22nd. Sign up I did... and then proceeded to read the brochure in the car.

Turns out, the seminar is just the fitness assessment. It is actually a 5-week "fitness platoon" taught by an ex-Marine turned chiropractor. It's 3 days a week at 5:30am. Or should I say 0530. The way it reads, missing or being late to classes is not an option. It is all or nothing.

I've decided to make the commitment. I mean, I was bored, wasn't I? I can't keep up this dysfunctional relationship with the mailbox. And, I want to get back into shape. A good swift kick in the arse might be just what I need.

Next Friday is my 34th birthday and so Mike has offered to pay the entry fee as my present. I am somewhere between excited and terrified.

This is for you, June!

OK... maybe not ANY DAY now

2006-03-30T16:23:00.000-08:00

Immigration approval still not here. I have a love-hate relationship with the mailbox right now. Every day around 5:20pm, when I'm pulling into our development, my stomach does the loop-the-loop. Could this be the day?!? I try so hard to contain my excitement when I slide the key into the box, but really, I'm not ashamed to say my hands are literally shaking. A moment later, after I've sifted through the cable bill, penny pincher magazine, and pre-approved credit card offers (funny how easy THOSE approvals seem to be to get), my DTC dreams are dashed a la Lisa Tucker.

People ask me "how's the wait?" I say "it's like the wind... it blows."

I'm trying to be positive though. A very good friend told me today she's pregnant. I can't say who she is as the knowledge isn't yet for public consumption and I'm very honored to be in on the good news so early! She'll be having her baby in the winter. Very very cool.

Yes, for those who are wondering, I am a tweensy bit jealous. I'm man enough to admit it. But, I'm still extremely happy for her. And it's not a race to parenthood. One day our munchkins will be bickering over toy ownership while we rub our tired eyes and laugh together, her morning sickness and my interminable wait long forgotten.

A Ray of Hope!!

2006-03-26T05:19:00.000-08:00

In the world of adoption gossip, it's been a depressing week. Rumors about an 18 month wait for those with a Nov '05 LID were the most hideous, but mostly the word on the street is 12-14 months, for the foreseeable future. I'm thinking I need to take a pottery class or something.

Anyway, a fellow adoptive family just posted a message on the China adoption.com board saying heand his wife got their 797-C from Philly yesterday. Their homestudy went in a few days before ours. So our golden ticket could be in the mail ANY DAY.

Good news, indeed!!!

Tissue Alert

2006-03-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

Dailymotion blogged video
Adoption1
Video sent by ludo

Lately I've been feeling a little distanced from the adoption since all we're doing is alternating between watching the mailbox and watching the calendar. Maybe a little frustrated. Maybe even feeling a little sorry for myself?

Then I saw this video on another really wonderful blog and have since smacked some sense into myself (was that alliteration?) - it's easy to think of mememe and how much I want to be a mom. But the images of these precious little ones, the pain their mothers go through, brought everything sharply into focus again.

I'm not much for the song but still am extremely moved by the story it tells. We're coming June, we're coming!!

Still waiting

2006-03-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

Nada much to report lately. Received very lovely baby quilt from my friend Tracy. It's beautiful and I can't wait tuck June into it one day. But, I've put it aside in the room that will become June's because I can't seem to do anything related to preparing for her arrival. It all feels so far away. On a basic, reasonable level I know it'll happen eventually, but with the constantly fluctuating predictions as to how long we'll wait, it just doesn't feel like we'll really get there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad or depressed. Just in limbo. I've already read 7 books related to China, adoption, or both, and before I achieve major reader burnout, I need to give the growing library (and my wallet) a break.

For the moment we're just watching the mailbox every day for the 171. (Days waiting: 16) I suspect that letter of approval will inject some enthusiasm back into both of us!

I Love I Love Toys!

2006-03-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

Has anyone else been watching I Love Toys?

OK, I admit it. I am a sucker for VH1 clip-and-panel shows. Best Week Ever is on my DVR. I watched I Love the 70s, and I loved it. I watched I Love the 80s with lukewarm enthusiasm, but there were some great “ohhh yeaaaaahhhhh, THAT thing!” moments. I Love the 90s was more or less unbearable, though. And I Love the Holidays was really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

But. BUT. Now they’ve come out with I Love Toys and it is now one of my current favorite guilty pleasures (second to AI, just can’t help it). A lot of the toys-slash-games are from the 70s, and as a child of the disco era I guess I’m just all caught up again in the nostalgia. Slip ‘n Slide! Colorforms! Mousetrap!!! For one day I’d gladly give up my laptop, cell phone and HDTV just for a stroll back to the simpler times.

I’m starting to sound old, aren’t I? Kind of like a parent?

P.S. Days waiting for 171-H: 6

Over the Homestudy Hurdle!

2006-03-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

We got our letter from the agency today: homestudy is officially completed! We celebrated by going to the mall without spending any money. :-) And I was definitely more cheery as I noticed the other parents strolling around with bundled-up babies and older kids ogling toy store windows.

Next step: the agency is sending the report off to Immigration and the clock officially begins to tick for the 171-H. I had a brief conversation with our coordinator yesterday who said that in Philly it is actually a different document. I can’t remember what she said it is, though. 797-C? My feeble thirty-something mind fails me.

No matter. Whatever form the golden ticket comes in, we’ll be anxiously awaiting its arrival! Could be weeks, could be months. Here’s hoping we get it before the next American Idol is crowned (my shameless guilty pleasure.. Go Katharine!!!).

Oscar Fever!

2006-03-02T17:35:00.000-08:00

It’s almost Oscar time. A very exciting time in our household! Mike is what you’d call a film buff. An avid film buff. Rabid, even. He writes reviews for a very small local paper, tearing the pages open each Wednesday to see if they printed his stuff word-for-word. If plans to go to a highly anticipated movie run aground, there is hell to pay. The man loves his movies: indies, sweeping epics, foreign films, the occasional tear-jerker. And I have to admit, even my tastes are a little more discriminating now due to his influence (sorry Queen Latifah). And he has an alarming depth of knowledge of Oscar trivia. This year he dropped out of the office pool “just to give the other guys a chance.”

Occasionally we’ll be driving along somewhere and I’ll try to hit him with a curve ball out of nowhere.

Me: Who won best actress in 1978?

Him: Jane Fonda, of course.

Me: Best screenplay, 1992?

Him: Original or adapted?

(Original: The Crying Game, Adapted: Howard’s End)

Then I’ll try to really get him with movies from before his time.

Me: Best Actor, 1950? Come on, you can’t know this.

Him: George Sanders, in All About Eve. Duh.

It’s a sickness, I’m telling you.

Anyway, as the Oscars near, and as Mike readies himself with predictions while I ready myself to (hopefully) snicker over whatever Jon Stewart throws down, my thoughts turn to our own future movie-making, when June finally joins us. Certainly we’ll want one of those Gotcha Day videos made, much like the ones I find myself watching over and over on the days it feels like our adoption might never happen. Will we outsource the work like our wedding video, or should I try my hand at Windows Movie Maker and see what happens? Maybe even invest in some fancy-pants software and really pull together a video worthy of a few tears, some downloads on the net, and critical praise from my hubby?

We have a long, long way to go before we’ll even have footage of our little star, so I’ve got some time to ponder.

Homestudy Report, Where Art Thou?

2006-02-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

Our homestudy report should be approved any day now. The social worker was here on her final visit 3 weeks ago. We’re getting a little antsy!! By now our fingerprints should be processed, so really there is nothing else to do but wait for the agency to send the report to immigration. SO close.

I’m encouraged by a report from a fellow Philadelphian that it only took her 3 weeks to get her 171-H after their homestudy was sent in. Minus any snags, I’m forecasting that we could get ours around the end of March. Without knowing how long it’ll take to get the 171-H certified and authenticated, (does it take just as long as it would if they sent the whole kit & caboodle together?) the rough estimate for DTC is still mid-late April, and hopefully late May LID.

There was a LaVida group in China this week. Nothing like gorging yourself on Gotcha Day photos to restore the good spirits and remember that it’s all worth it in the end!

Eight Below

2006-02-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

I tore myself away from my current fixation on Chinese books and movies long enough to wander to the theater and see Eight Below last night. Not having read any advance reviews, I had no idea what to expect but Mike told me he’d heard about grown men bawling. Having seen (and loved) March of the Penguins, I braced myself for a sobering tale of animals fighting the elements and struggling for survival. Indeed it wasn’t all fluff, but the triumph of this pack of devoted huskies over the bitter, hungry, Antarctic winter was pretty inspiring. I found myself captivated by the gripping stories of the dogs themselves (and believe me, there is canine character development here) and slightly bored by the tortured guilt of the tracker/dogsledder who was forced to leave them behind. Mike agreed that the B cast and mediocre script held it back a little, but overall, very enjoyable!

For a squeaky-clean adventure absent of gratuitous sex or violence, with some tearjerker moments, unexpected humor and absolutely gorgeous cinematography, definitely check it out. I give a solid 3 barks out of four.

Referral Rumors? Say It Ain't So

2006-02-15T17:25:00.000-08:00

The rumor mill round the adoption boards has been pretty busy lately. Some say their agencies tell them to kick back and expect 12-13 months from LID to referral. (Kick the wall, more like) Others say the folks in Spain know more than we do and the next batch will include up to early June '05 LIDs, which is about 9 months. Who knows? Dare I speculate and feed the rumors further? American Idol is on soon, and there's nothing I can do to prod CCAA, so I'd better stick to what I know about singing and guess who's getting cut, once we're down to the 24 contenders...

I never mentioned what we thought of The Last Emperor. It was very good, up till the DVD player pooped out. Someday we'll rent it again, but in general we really liked it. I hope to add a movie/book review section later specific to China. :-)

One more note about the adoption before I sign off, though: we got a note from our agency yesterday that all dossier documents minus the homestudy report and I-171H have passed critical review and have been sent off for certification and authentication! That bodes well for us since the C&A fees are non-refundable and I don't think they'd take this crucial step if we weren't to pass the homestudy. The report should be in next week, which brings us ever closer to the I-171H and my three current favorite letters: DTC!!!

Early Valentine's Present!

2006-02-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the nice people who cheered me up after my last post - as I learn more and accept more about the realities of life in China, children in need of homes, etc., I know that we can't fix all the problems. I am glad though to have a better understanding of things and know that we'll appreciate our little girl all the more!

Mike gave me this pendant. (Translation: I found it online, ordered it, showed him a picture, and told him he's off the hook for Valentine's Day if this can be my present. Thanks honey!) I found it on Chinasprout.co m - the translation is "born in my heart". I love it! It is sterling silver so I'm not sure how well it will hold up, so I might have it dipped in rhodium from time to time.

I look forward to wearing this for the next year (or till whenever we go to China)... I think it'll help with those days when it feels like time is moving too slowly... and help me remember that it is all worth it. There are some other very pretty pendants, one of which translates to "forever family". I may "ask" for that for NEXT Valentine's Day and when we come home as a family, that one can be worn too. And if this first pendant really does hold up, I hope to put it aside and give to June when she is older.

In other news, we finished our homestudy visits last weekend, and shipped off the last of our dossier docs to our agency. Now we await homestudy approval and the countdown to the 171-H. I occasionally stare at the calendar trying to predict how long it will be till we receive it, then add on the 4-6 weeks for certifying and authentication, but honestly it's anyone's guess as to when we'll be DTC.

Big snow headed for Philly tonight. We're staying in and renting The Last Emperor. Review coming soon!

New Emotions Sprouting

2006-02-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

I’m filled with emotion lately. It’s welling up on me almost every day, especially when I’m driving somewhere, or laying in bed at night, with time to ponder and absorb some aspects of this adoption I hadn’t really considered at the very beginning of this journey. I am guessing that the sadness and heartbreak isn’t unusual, but it took me by surprise.

As we continue pushing forth with the paperchase, I’ve been reading a lot. At first the books were just on adoption… now my focus is on the babies themselves. I recently finished The Lost Daughters of China. Now I’m halfway through The Waiting Child. It occurs to me, as I find myself in tears every chapter or so, that when we first decided to adopt that we were thinking mostly of what it would do for us. It would turn us into parents, give us the child we’ve always wanted. We espouted our desire to give a little girl a home who might not get one otherwise, but I don’t think we ever scratched the surface of the real need of the babies. I was mostly ignorant to the depths of heartbreak the birthparents felt the day they watched the space between her and them get larger and larger, and the hole they probably have in their hearts forever.

As I read, I’m getting a clearer understanding of the tough road these babies face in orphanage life. Ours may have wounds too deep for us to see at first, if she went too long without a mommy and daddy. Up till now I was going to sleep at night dreaming of Gotcha Day and the joy I’ll feel when my arms are filled with our baby. Now I’m feeling haunted by all the moments the children must go through with only the minimal TLC that can be given in an institutional setting. This is not meant as a criticism against the orphanage workers – it’s just reality. Too many babies, not enough arms to comfort them. Way, way too many babies who won’t ever be adopted and be given all the love they deserve. Many orphanages whose conditions are still so poor, we in the West will never hear about them in the press. Right now I feel heartbroken and helpless that our future daughter and her untold number of sisters have to face a hardship I can’t pretend to understand.

Last night, we met our friends Mel and Sean’s baby Lindsay. She was a tiny bundle of love, beautiful and sweet-smelling and unputdownable. I couldn’t help but think that while this family had such cause for celebration and joy, that this same moment would not likely be met with such happiness in China. There would be awe at the perfect face, tiny fingers and toes, of course. But so much sadness, if the family cannot keep her. And the demand to do something heartwrenching and brave. It is still hard for me to fathom that our June will have come from a beginning filled with such mixed and intense emotion. I am more committed to her now than ever and can only guess that my heart will open even more as we inch closer to the day we become her parents.

Fun with Fingerprints

2006-02-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

We're officially fingerprinted. A completely painless process. I highly recommend anyone in the Philly area to go on a weekday and arrive when they open. It was well worth taking a day off! We stood in line for about 20 minutes tops.

Don't know where I've been lately but I fully expected to walk away with ink-laden fingers. Maybe if I watched a little more police drama I'd know that they douse your fingertips in water (or some kind of clear watery substance) and then press your fingers onto a piece of glass. They roll your fingers from side to side and the image is captured electronically. Nifty.

We were out of there by 9AM with a whole day ahead. After a brief visit to one of my work clients and a hearty congratulations call to Mel and Sean on the birth of their beautiful daughter Lindsey (born 1/31 at 5lbs 4oz - more details and links to Lindseyland when her dad has time to post them!), we found ourselves with a rare commodity: a completely free day. Since we were only a few blocks from Chinatown, we took a walk through. As we perused the craft shops and grocery stores, I found myself catching glances at a few of the locals, wondering how they had made their way to the US. Would June share common ancestors with anyone here who might be from the same province? Would she look much the lady who sold me rice cakes, when she is that age? I find myself wanting to learn more and more about the culture so we can truly understand her heritage.

More on the rice cakes:
I've never seen these before. The bag says you soak them overnight like beans and then either simmer, roast or fry them, sweetened with sugar or cooked with veggies or spices. I'm thinking they could be pretty tasty but if cooked wrong, just soggy and gross. We'll see if I can pull it off when I try them out.

Final doctor visits for the dossier this week, followed by a final trip to the notary this weekend, and we'll be 90% finished with the paperchase! Hurrah!! Now if only those wait times would go down...

1st Homestudy Visit Down... 1 to Go

2006-01-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

Our social worker from our agency came for the first home study visit today. Why was I so nervous? It really was nothing to worry about. She was very easygoing and didn't throw any questions out that we felt unprepared to answer. Mostly stuff about our relationship, our views on parenting, our experiences with kids, etc. We'd talked a lot about this already, so really it was no sweat. She'll be back next Sunday and then it's out of our hands!

In thinking more about Meg Ryan's adoption, I should probably amend what I said in an earlier post about it being the rage to adopt... which was said tongue in cheek of course but now that I've read a fairly offensive article in Parade magazine, I realize I shouldn't even joke about it.

Walter Scott of Parade replied to a question from a reader about why Brad & Angelina have adopted children from overseas, basically saying that it is the "fashionable" thing to do, and later saying "they are expecting their own, of course". Offensive and tacky to suggest that these children are accessories, and not their own. The comments from readers are streaming in. I hope that nobody took offense to what I said about Meg Ryan - I am just thrilled that adoptions from abroad are getting exposure through celebrities and that it will encourage people who might have been afraid to take the journey. The sad thing is that crappy press like this undermines the power adoption has to change many lives (parents and children alike) for the better.

It doesn't matter if the baby is from Nepal or Nebraska. All adoptive parents have the right to follow their hearts to the children they were meant to be united with, no matter where the path takes them.

In other, very exciting news, our good friends Mel and Sean are expecting a special delivery on Tuesday! Last I heard, she is being induced so hopefully all will go smoothly and easily... and the little bambina will hurry her way out and introduce herself! We are getting fingerprinted on Wednesday near the hospital where she is delivering so we hope to stop by and meet her. Stay tuned.

Think she'll want to do a playdate?

2006-01-24T16:54:00.000-08:00

Adoption a baby from China is apparently all the rage now. All the stars are doing it:

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477306

Question: how WILL she explain that deli scene to her daughter?

Adoption School

2006-01-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, we gathered with 11 other eager families to fulfill one of our agency requirements: the adoption training workshop. Some stuff we covered wasn't new, but there were some good insights. They showed a video of a Korean girl who at 22 went back in search of her roots. In Korea, it is not as difficult to find a link to birthparents since it is not illegal there to place a child for adoption - although in her case she only found an aunt. It was a very moving reunion. Our daughter won't have a chance for this, and it does make me think about how hard that will be for her to come to terms with. We hope to connect her with as many other girls like herself, though, so she can have a sense of belonging, though the bond is a missing past. Hopefully the motherland trip we'll eventually plan will put at least a couple puzzle pieces in place for her, too.

For lunch, the agency took us to a local Chinese restaurant voted Best in Philly (yummy indeed). We had the chance to talk to the agency director who had talked a bit in class about the unexpected picking apart of the CCAA on dossiers that had been logged in months ago. It just happened this week. Things they never batted an eye at in the past (multiple past divorces, blemished criminal history, others she didn't mention) are now an issue. You could hear a collective gulp from around the room. She said new policies haven't been set - but it seems like we'll all have to be ready for extra scrutiny. Frustrating though, to have a log in date, but not know for SURE that you make the mark... probably till you get your referral!

Overall the class was good and it's one more item crossed off the checklist. In other news, we got our homestudy physicals and have now handed in all materials. Hopefully we'll be assigned to a social worker next week!

Patience is a virtue... not one of mine

2006-01-10T18:16:00.000-08:00

I've been reading on the adoption boards lately about the increased referral times. When we first decided on adoption, the wait times were around 7 months from log-in in China... they've since slowed to 9-10 months with rumors it could go even longer. This is in addition to the 5 months it will take us to get our dossier sent off. A little discouraging after the initial euphoria of "we're adopting! hooray!" But, it will be worth it in the end. Once the paperchase is done, it's not like we won't have things to do. What will be June's bedroom is in dire need of a makeover. Many empty walls throughout the house could do with some decorating. The quest to reclaim the figure of my youth will certainly keep me busy for a while.

There's a lot of speculation as to why the referrals have slowed down but it seems the general consensus is that there are more dossiers coming in to China, creating a bottleneck. I have to think that this is a good thing, that so many more of us are becoming interested in adopting from a country where there are countless numbers of babies that needs homes. Maybe we have to wait a little bit longer but we're still going to be united one day, and that helps. The wait is certainly easier on us than it is on the babies...

One thing that definitely helps keep things in focus is picking up books on adoption. My latest read is The Lost Daughters of China. It is an incredible book for anyone considering China adoption or is just interested in learning more about the plight of these little girls. Next on my list: The Waiting Child. Thanks to Monica for the recommendation!

I600-A Sent!

2006-01-05T17:41:00.000-08:00

After 6 hours of filling in paperwork, a brief argument with a notary, an altercation with a copy machine at Staples, and more visits to 7-11 for money orders than I thought I'd ever make in a week, we are finally sending off our first real batch of paperwork. La Vida is getting everything (the I-600A, accompanying docs, power of attorney, the uncomfortably long waiver and an uncomfortably large check) and they will file for us.

I also am sending back my passport to change to my married name, which I never got around to before. Had to send one of the only 2 copies of the marriage license, but they swear I'll get it back again. I ordered a bunch more from the courthouse anyway since I need them for the homestudy and dossier and am paranoid.

Word about the adoption has spread at work and it has been so nice to hear people ask about it. One of the ladies said "we will all be here for you". I'm sure there will be some tough days ahead and it's nice to know you've got support.

Next on our list is to write the dreaded autobiographies. For someone who loves talking about herself, you would think I could fire this off in an afternoon but it is much harder than I expected. We each need to complete this, along with getting to the doctor to have her sign off that we're going to live for a reasonable amount of time and reasonably be able to care for our baby. Then there is another pile of papers more or less completed that we need to assemble with said autobiography and doctor notes for the next shipment to La Vida for the homestudy. Self imposed due date: January 31st.

Knowing that we are this much closer to the reality of becoming parents has given us tons of motivation to eat better and exercise more. Like many others in our shoes, we want to be able to climb The Great Wall, and greet our child in the best shape possible. For added motivation, we are now glued to The Biggest Loser. Does anyone else love this show as much as I do???

Application Approved!

2005-12-30T20:00:00.000-08:00

One tiny milestone, but very exciting... we mailed in our application to the agency on Tuesday, and the document package arrived today! I feel like it is the adoption equivalent to a positive pregnancy test. The paperchase officially begins! Hurrah!!!

Trish, one of my oldest and bestest friends, came over tonight to hang out and watch movies, and she brought me a gift: the book "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes". As I'm told, it's a must-have and I can't wait to read it for the first of what I know will be millions of times. We're very excited to have June's book collection already under way! Thank you Trish!!

Trying on the names "Nana, Grandpop and Grandmom"

2005-12-26T15:16:00.000-08:00

Well, we have officially made the adoption announcement to our families. I wrote a little speech, which I read to my mom, sister and brother-in-law, and Mike's parents on Christmas Eve. We weren't sure how they would react... after all, the idea of adoption from China had become a regular part of our thoughts and discussions, but it was brand new to them - and we were ready for shock and maybe even a little disappointment that we're not going the old-fashioned way.

Shocked, I think they were... but the outpouring of joy, love and support was more than we could have hoped for! Lots of tears when we revealed her name, and I think that moment has bonded our families forever. For the rest of the night, you could hear the name "June" being spoken periodically... along with discussions like "I think I want to be called 'Nanny... but maybe I like Nana better!" Grandparent names were quickly snatched up, followed by a tidal wave of baby-related topics that had been pent up for years. Meeting at the airport after our arrival back, crib selections, babysitting schedules. Whoa, Nellie! We should probably get our homestudy approved before we start picking out patterns, you think?? But, we feel strongly that all will end well with little June in our arms, and feel there is no harm in letting our parents daydream the way we have for many weeks now. The more the merrier.

Tomorrow we hand in the application to La Vida... hopefully next week we will begin the formal process!

Saying goodbye

2005-12-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

Mike's grandfather passed away this week. It was a sad day for the whole family, but not altogether unexpected. Pop Pop was 86 and lived a long, interesting life. As we've been spending some extra time with family, we keep hearing more stories - the kind people don't think to share under normal circumstances but now are reminded of little things that paint more of a picture of his life. One nice thing that the funeral director is doing is asking everyone who attends the funeral to write a note about their favorite memory of Pop Pop. These will all eventually be sent to the family. Too quickly I think we forget some of these stories, so it will be nice to preserve them.

I've been invited to sing at the service tomorrow. I need to brush up a little bit, but am very honored that they've asked me to be a part of this. Will do my best.

Over the past week we have kind of wished that Mike's parents knew about the adoption plans, that it might cheer them up a little bit to know that even though one generation of the family has gone, another one will be coming soon. But we agree that hearing the news on Christmas morning will probably make for a brighter holiday for them. We've written a little speech. I'll try to remember to post it after we share it with them.

Our journey begins

2005-12-08T13:13:00.000-08:00

Hello!

This is my first post to our adoption blog. Mike and I have been discussing international adoption, off and on, for over a year, and more recently we have decided that this is the path we want to take to build our family. After reading several books on the topic, talking endlessly about it, and visiting two agencies that specialize in adoptions from China, we've decided that we will begin the process in early January and hopefully, about a year later, we'll be on our way to China to meet our child.

We are very excited about the experience that awaits us. Some people have asked us why we aren't pursuing a baby the old fashioned way. In short, we both feel that we could love a baby in the same way no matter how he or she comes to us. From the few first months we were dating, we talked about how we both liked the idea of giving a child a chance to grow up in a family instead of an orphanage. Plus, even though my health risks are not that scary, I want to do what is best for my health so that I can be an active mom, not a sick one. And finally, we are both fascinated with life in other countries and welcome the chance to learn more about a culture we currently know little about.

Since we are adopting from China, we will be getting a girl. 95% of the babies available for adoption are girls. More on the story of the baby girls in need of homes later.

Her name will be June Nicole. A little about her name: Mike's father Dale lost his dad in WWII. His dad was also named Dale, specifically Dale Junior. In September, we went to a WWII presentation where the letters from Dale Junior were read. Every letter was signed "June". This name always stuck with me as a way to honor the memory of Dale Junior, and when I suggested it to Mike, he liked the idea too. Her middle name, Nicole, is in memory of my dad, Nick.

So that's about it for now. There's much more to say but I'll try not to blather on too much in any given entry. Thanks for reading and I look forward to sharing the journey to our daughter June with those who are interested in following along. :-)